Insanity Pure Cardio: What the F*ck!?
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Insanity Pure Cardio First Impressions
Because Insanity Pure Cardio is only 38 minutes, you know the pace is going to be ridiculous. The title says it all—Pure Cardio. Unlike other Insanity routines, this one is not about high intensity interval training. Insanity Pure Cardio will be a simple endurance contest. It’s all about cardio conditioning and how long you can exercise at high intensity without any breaks. If you are putting out maximum effort, your heart rate should be in the 80-90% zone almost the who time.
Shaun T is joined by a full complement of fitness demonstrators. There is no one new. You’ve seen these men and women before in other routines. Their presence charges the atmosphere. I imagine myself throwing down some sweat with these people.
The Insanity Pure Cardio Warmups
As usual, the Insanity Pure Cardio warmups are high intensity. Don’t expect to waltz through the warmups like other exercise programs. There are a series of seven exercises lasting about 30 seconds each. Each series is performed three times, with no rest in between and with increasing intensity after each subsequent series. Go easy at first, but go big at the end. They are similar to the warmups you’ve been doing already.
Jog in Place. This exercise needs no explanation. Pretend you are running. The blood starts moving faster, and the breathing gets shallower as your body prepares for intense exercise.
Jumping Jacks. A fitness staple for good reason. Don’t forget to touch your hands at the top of each jack. Complete follow through helps to intensify.
Heisman. You are hopping left to right on each leg. As you hop, bring the leg not touching the floor as close as possible to your chest. There should be no stopping between each hop.
1-2-3. Almost the same thing as a Heisman, but with added running steps between each hop.
Butt Kicks. This exercise is performed by running in place and kicking your heels backwards into your butt instead of in front.
High Knees. Almost the same thing as running in place, but you’re bringing your knees above your hips with each step. Raising the knees gets the lower abdominal muscles in play.
Mummy Kicks. Keep your body as straight as possible and kick our legs out in front, alternating each leg. Do not to stop between kicks. At least one leg should be off the ground at any given moment, and the supporting leg should be moving in the air prior to the kicking leg returning to the floor.
After three rounds of warmups, you get a 30-second water break, followed by a 5:40 stretching segment. All the stretches should be familiar to you.
Another 30-second water break follows the stretches. Then, the first and only circuit begins. There will be no more breaks for the next eighteen minutes. Each exercise lasts about 60 seconds, and is done one after the other until the workout is completed. This is a slight departure from the other Insanity workouts where you can expect a break every 2-3 minutes. After the short stretch segment, it will be pedal to the metal for the rest of the workout.
The Insanity Pure Cardio Exercises
Suicide Drills. You sidestep to the right as fast as possible, touching the floor with one hand after 3-4 steps. Alternate to the left. This exercise activates your core as you touch the floor and raise your body.
Switch Kicks. You perform this exercise standing up. You alternatively kick each leg to your front as high as you can. The key is not to stop between each kick. Meaning, at least one leg should be in the air at any given moment, and the supporting leg should be moving off the ground prior to the kicking leg returning to the floor. This exercise works your legs and lower abdominal muscles.
Wide Feet football Sprints. You run in place as your legs are spread out and you are almost in a squat position. Your feet are pumping as fast as possible, and your arms are raised as if you are blocking an imaginary person. Shaun T will cue you go right, back, left, and front.
Stance Jacks. Get into the squat position with your feet together. Hop so that your feet come apart 18-24 inches. As you do so, bend and reach down with one arm to touch the opposite foot (i.e., right hand touches left foot). Alternate arms with each hop. Activates your lower legs and your core at the same time.
Pedals. This is actually a combo exercise that should be called sprints with lunges. You start off by doing sprints in place. On Shaun T’s cue, you with do a series of alternating leg lunges, then return to sprinting. It doesn’t seem like much, but the stop/start motion and lunging action will get your cardio-pulmonary systems moving in high gear.
Hooks with Jump Ropes. A combination exercise. First, do eight hooks (rounded punches). Then, leap up and raise your knees past your waist. You will add a twisting motion with your wrist as if you were jumping rope. The power jumps will make your entire body cry for mercy, but I’m not sure what the wrist twists do. If you’re doing the hooks properly, you will also recruit your core muscles into the exercise.
Power Jacks (Same thing as Squat Jacks). We’ve all done jumping jacks. This exercise turns up the intensity level by making you land into the squat position at the end of each repetition. Doesn’t sound like much of a difference, but your gluts and quads will be screaming for mercy at the end of the minute.
Level 2 Drills. This exercise is actually a mini series of exercises done in rapid succession. Begin in plank position and do eight pushups. Follow that with eight plank runs. From there, hop from plank into standing position, and quickly leap into the air with your arms raised above your head. Repeat the sequence until time is called. Works your entire body, and will make you suck wind.
Frog Jumps. Start the exercise in the standing squat position. Hop back and bend over and touch the floor with both hands, then hop forward and bend over and touch the floor with both hands. Keep hopping back and forward until time is called. Mostly works your legs and gluts, but your core is also recruited as you bend over.
Power Knees. This exercise looks easy, but will bring the burn if you do it with full intensity. It is done standing up and slightly bent over. You start by putting your weight on one leg and your hands clasped together. The other leg is bent, and the objective is to raise it up to chest level as quickly as possible, touching your hands to the bent knee. As you lower the leg, your foot should only touch the floor for a millisecond. If done correctly, you will look like a piston in a well oiled engine. This exercise works your lower abs, but I found that the butt cheeks of my supporting leg side will burn like crazy after thirty seconds. I would go faster and faster like a maniac just to keep my mind off of the pain in my ass.
Upright Mountain Climbers. Your legs are moving as if you are doing high knees. However, your arms are reaching up and down as if you are climbing an imaginary ladder. Keep your torso erect. The added arm movements kick up the exercise intensity to another level. Works the legs and lower abs.
Ski Down Ski Jumps. Keep your feet together while you hop side to side and your body is positioned as if you are skiing and about to take on a massive mogul. This exercise works the calves, thighs, and gluts.
Scissor Runs (Switch Feet). I really don’t know how to describe this exercise. Basically, your legs and arms are completely locked in a straight position, and you are moving them as if you are a robot, but very fast.
Suicide Jumps. This exercise is aptly named because you’ll feel suicidal as you’re doing them. You start off in the plank position as if doing a pushup. Second step is to hop so that both feet land right behind your hands. During the hop, your hands remain firmly planted on the floor and only your feet move forward. When your feet reach your hands, immediately leap up with your hands raised to the sky. When you land, jump back into the plank position and repeat the exercise. The raising and lowering of your body from the plank position into a leap will cause lots of heavy breathing (of the painful kind). This exercise is also known as Burpees.
Pushup Jacks (same as fit test). Pushups, but raised to the next level. This exercise is pretty much impossible to do unless you can already do a regular pushup. It can’t be performed using the modified bent knee pushup position, unless you want crushed knee caps. You start off in the plank position with your feet together. As you lower your body, you simultaneously move your feet apart by 18-24 inches. As you push your body up, you will simultaneously bring your feet back together again. If you are doing it correctly, it looks as if you are doing jumping jacks while in the pushup position. Works your chest like crazy.
Final Thoughts on Insanity Pure Cardio
The last exercise ends with about 4:30 remaining on the clock (which is devoted to cool down and stretching). There is a look of relief on everyone’s faces. The man himself, Shaun T, is collapsed on his back, lying in a pool of sweat. I remember now that he kept on saying “I’m tired” throughout the workout. He doesn’t give a crap that America is seeing him looking like a hot mess. His parting words were something that was bleeped out.
The demonstrators are no better off. Even after having gone through the program, no one is coasting through this workout. One of them (Mario) shakes his head and mutters “What the f*ck” under his breath as he tries remain on his feet. Indeed. This is why I love Insanity.
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